An Impromptu Review of The Shack

I just finished reading The Shack, which is one of the latest popular books to hit the Christian market. It is quickly gaining success and prestige, which often deters many from actually picking up the book and giving it a read. I am among this group because I have gone that route, of reading the latest Christian book sensation and have been disappointed in the past. I won't name any book titles that I've been either impressed or unimpressed by, so don't ask. Needless to say, when I first heard about The Shack, I didn't give it much thought. When it started to gain some notoriety, I dug my heels even further in, preferring not to get simply swept away in the latest Christian craze and set of new vocabulary words that will undoubtedly spark a series of other books agreeing and disagreeing with the theological views purported in The Shack. But, when someone gives you a copy for free, what can you do? If you know me, I'm not one to turn down a free book. And in all honesty, I knew that before I passed judgment (which I had basically already done), I should probably read this book that "everyone" is talking about.

So, yesterday, I finally picked it up and started reading. And then I finished it today. That will probably tell you something about how I reacted to the book. If nothing else, I got caught up in what was happening in the book and how it resolved. Strictly as a written work, it is well-written. It is a concise 200+ pages that flow quickly. Some of the spiritual revelations that came to the main character even seemed to come a little too quickly. There is a directness to how the author writes that both aids to and detracts from how he conveys his message. Within the first few chapters, the central conflict and problem that the main character is plagued by develops fully and then the rest of the book is spent unpacking, unraveling, and resolving that central problem. I was told that the first few chapters are hard to get through, and this is true. Anyone who has a vivid imagination will struggle through those first few chapters. Don't be surprised if you have to put the book down or and moved to tears of sorrow.

The rest of the book details the main character's interaction with God over approximately a 48-hour period. The author's portrayal of God at times struck me as somewhat cheesy, especially the different displays of affection that sometimes reminded me more of a bad Christian romantic fiction novel than anything else. (Sorry to all you fans of bad Christian romantic fiction novels. Maybe I'll read one of those next so I can be more compassionate...) However, due to the content of what is discussed in the novel, I was lead to question whether or not my disgust at the displays of affection was justifiable disgust or a symptom of the brokenness and inherent lack of love that I possess due to my own sin and the sin that surrounds us all. I hope that if you read the book, you humbly pose the same question to yourself. The discussions that the character has with God are honestly discussions that I have sometimes wanted to have with God myself. As I said, the spiritual truths, especially those conveyed in such conversations come quickly. So, be careful not to miss something that the God character says if you don't understand it right away. Go back and re-read the line again if necessary. In all honesty, these spiritual truths are nothing new (see Ecclesiastes 1:9), but that doesn't make what is conveyed in the book irrelevant or unworthy of being written. The book moves very strongly against the rule-abiding God Who can be proved with rationality and reasoning. He is a completely relational Being in the book, not that He isn't so already in reality. To anyone who experiences regular waves of guilt and obligation, this book will be like a breath of fresh air. However, to more acutely experience this breath of fresh air, I would recommend one thing: leave behind your preconceived notions and baggage attached to the word "love." It should come as no surprise that the English language is sadly inadequate in expressing the varying degrees and depths that love can contain. There is certainly something wrong when you can look at your wife and say, "I love you with all my heart," and then turn to the pie you are eating and say, "I really love this pie!" Not only that, the very concept and possibility of love is severely damaged by the continuing sin and pain we experience day-in and day-out. I can promise that when you read this book and the word "love" comes up as much as it does, you will be tempted to gloss over it, but don't!

The last thing I will say is this: There was one question that haunted me throughout the book and still haunts me. It is a question that is indirectly addressed within the plot of the story, and is only directly addressed at the end of the book, though not to bring about an answer. The question is this: What if all this really happened? The story is based on the true account of one man. It would be extremely easy to brush off the story as imagined and contrived as some sort of unbelievable piece of encouragement that's nice to hear, but wouldn't really work in the real world. Don't jump to this conclusion, my friends. If nothing else, do yourself the favor and don't dig in your heels and relegate this story to the imaginary. Allow yourself at least to entertain the thought that this might have been true, this might have really happened, and the truths conveyed therein might actually be true. What happened to the main character, Mack, happens to all of us in varying degrees, and the scars and doubts he bears can often look strikingly similar to scars and doubts we bear as well. For that reason alone, I would recommend that you let this book, this story, these truths penetrate the harsh exterior we all erect around our hearts and the deepest places of souls and just see what happens. If nothing else, I think that entertaining the thought that this story might be true will spur on some interesting debates, internal and external, and maybe we can all take one step closer to the One Who made us.

Been A While...

I haven't done much blogging in quite some time, and there are some very good and very complicated reasons for that. But for now, let me just put down a quote from my personal journal entry that I wrote today:

"It's always hardest for the person wearing the glasses to see the lens that they're looking through."

What's a Young Man to Do?

Three days ago, I was journaling and preparing to speak at Student Venture whilst drinking Seattle's "Best" coffee in Borders at Carmel Mountain. And my journaling was most done out of frustration. I became frustrated that my life had seemed (the key word here is "seemed") to degenerate into a list of to-dos. The things that I wanted to see in happen in my life are things that I have to do something about. If I want to actually report to my Student Venture assignment, I'm going to have to raise support. If I want to be close to God, I have to set aside time to spend with Him. If I want a place to live, I'm going to have to search for it and then find a way to pay for it. In my frustration, I began to ask, "If I'm doing all of this, what is God doing?" Before too long, that led me to ask, "Well, what is something that I literally can't do? What is it that won't happen if God won't do it?" The first and most obvious answer that came to me was that I can't save myself. If I am to be saved from the horrible things that I've done, if I am to be saved from the person I'm constantly in danger of becoming, if I am to be saved to the good things that may await me in the future, God is the One Who is going to have to save me.

From there, it was only a hop, skip, jump, one Bible verse, and a cool pop culture reference and I had my talk for Student Venture that night. The talk that night felt awkward to me. Sure, there were some funny moments, but overall, I felt awkward. So, naturally, I assumed that everyone else felt awkward, too. But I delivered the talk that I had planned and went the length of time allotted. So, that was fine. And naturally, I shared the Gospel at the end of the talk and led the students in a prayer to accept Christ.

Come Wednesday, the veil began to be pulled back in earnest. Wednesday afternoon, I met with the leader of Student Venture here in North County SD, Shawn Faulkner. He told me that two girls had prayed to accept Christ that night I shared. It took me a moment to realize that God had actually used me in that capacity the previous night. I was pretty blown away. Even now, it seems a little unreal. Then later that evening, I was at praise band practice. Two of the members of the band had heard about how I moved out of my parents' place and consequently offered to have me stay with them for both of the two weeks after I move out of David and Courtney's place here in Escondido. I hadn't asked them to take me in. I certainly didn't post what I posted on this blog to garner pity or sympathy or a place to stay. But nevertheless, here were two more friends (beyond David and Courtney) who told me straight out that they weren't going to let me be homeless. In truth, I haven't been so taken aback by such a show of love and generosity in a long time.

What is to be concluded from all of this? Well, all the stuff that I thought I was having to do because God wasn't going to just wasn't true. He was and still is doing a lot more than I had previously thought. He is tangibly taking care of me. He's certainly not beholden to me, but who am I to refuse such loving care as that? More than that, He has used the people in my life to be such a blessing. He shines through my cherished family and friends here in San Diego. I don't regret having the blunt journaling session that I did on Tuesday. I don't ever, nor will I ever regret such blunt and open and honest times with God. I have always found that it is in and through those most brutal times, when I say things to God that the "good little Christian" within me thinks I shouldn't say, that I am inevitably impressed by Him and grow closer to Him in the process. So, what's a young man to do? Be brutally honest with God. He always loves to prove me wrong!

To Rest My Head

Big changes have come into my world, the most prominent of those being that I have moved out of my parents' home! It came a little later than we all originally anticipated, but here it is at last. I moved back in with them during summer 2007 after working in Los Angeles. Neither my parents nor I expected I would be staying very long, but I did! It had its good times and its not-so-good times. There is an interesting dynamic that takes place between parents and their child, especially when that child is an adult and moves back in with them. It was certainly convenient and enabled me to do much that I would not have otherwise been able to do, but now is most assuredly the right time to move out and move on.

In truth, I think that living with them caused me to stagnate a little. Not a lot, but a little. And no one likes to stagnate. Who wants that vague yet horrifying feeling that life is somehow passing you by and you don't know how to stop it or at least grab hold and let it take you for the ride? No one wants that. But it happened. Now I'm out and about. For a week, I house-sat for a family that I know who were out in the Midwest seeing their new granddaughter (Congratulations to the Blank family!!). That was nice to have that opportunity come up so suddenly. I spent one night sleeping in my car. Not terribly comfortable, but still kinda cool in an urban roughing it sort of way. And now I will be spending a week staying at the house of my good friends David and Courtney Toney. I asked them if it might be alright to bunk up with them for a week and they both quickly and graciously agreed to let me stay for a while. As I write this post, I am sitting in their spare room surrounded by a lamp in the shape of the Eiffel Tower, a picture of Courtney and David at a high school prom, a single wall sconce with no candles, and the bed covered in a well chosen green and brown comforter. Not too shabby! So, for those of you who already know David and Courtney and think highly of them, it's time to think even higher! And stay tuned to see where I end up next...

Oh, The Glory Of It All

Dallas Willard's book The Divine Conspiracy is a book that I find difficult to move through quickly. There is so much in his writing, and not just a large number of words. But there is much that he says that I do agree with intellectually but don't see lived out in my own life. I am slow to believe, all in all. And since I am slow to believe, I am slow to act on what I think I should believe. And that causes guilt, and that's not fun for anyone! For example, in my most recent reading of Chapter 3 out of Dallas Willard's fine work, I read about the glory of creation, of the sheer beauty of the earth that God created, the simple joy found in the sound of a wave crashing, or in the intricate veins of a green leaf seen as the sun shines through it. Dallas Willard described a particularly stunning scene of him walking up to a beach while he was in Africa and the joy that was his simply to observe such beauty. And he mused that God, the Creator and Sustainer, who sees all of creation and enjoys it with an intensity and consistency that we could only imagine, must be one infinitely joyous being for all of the glory that is His to be and to see.

They were inspiring words to read, and if you haven't read his work The Divine Conspiracy yet, I would highly recommend it. His words are written in such a well-crafted way that Dr. Willard's prose borders on poetry. And yet, the inspiration that his musings gave me also brought with them a notable measure of sadness. To see how God certainly does view His creation, which He called good, and how Dallas Willard sees creation in this instance only served to bring light to the fact that I do not. I do not find the same awe that I once did in the simple shining of the sun, the delicate song of an early morning bird. I so easily overlook the things that God never misses. And though I will never enjoy creation as He does, I can certainly hope to appreciate it as I once did. And this thought begs the question: if I once enjoyed creation with an intensity that I have since lost, how did that happen? What was it that caused me to lose that which I had? I do not think that I am alone in this. While I worked in Solana Beach, how often did I truly go and appreciate the beach that was within walking distance? Certainly not often enough. It saddens me to be reminded yet again that we, as human beings, grow tired far too quickly of that which we have, that which we are given, that which is before us on a consistent basis. If something is in front of our eyes for too long, it becomes impossible to actually see it.

With that being said, I think we would all do well to go outside at a time we wouldn't normally and just appreciate the true gift that creation was meant to be, wherever you happen to find yourself.

My New Prayer of the Day

I'm not planning on adding a prayer of the day everyday, but since I've been inspired these two days, I thought I would post them in the hopes that maybe someone out there will pray for me as I go through my day and maybe someone out there will be encouraged by what I write because who knows who else might be going through the same sort of stuff I'm going through...

It has become increasingly clear to me that I am too hard on myself. I don't let things go easily, especially my own shortcomings. I've been told that I need to forgive myself, have grace with myself, allow God's grace to cover me, not be so focused on the "ideal man." It's been told to me a hundred different ways by a hundred different people. And I really would love to have grace with myself but in the face of my flaws, that can be especially hard. It's so easy to act like I'm having grace with myself when I'm not struggling through some of my more grievous flaws or when I'm having a particularly easy week. It's infinitely harder to have grace with myself when my flaws really come to the surface and either hurt me or keep me from what God wants me to do with my life or even worse, hurt someone else. But those are the times when it is most important to have grace with myself because otherwise I will become stagnant and be unable to act upon the good that God has already placed within me. I do hear His voice and His prompting in my life and though I might not always listen, that shouldn't keep me from following at all. If that makes sense, great. If not, sorry.

All that to say, my prayer for the day is this: God, give me the courage to have grace with myself in the face of my own shortcomings.

My Prayer for the Day

Here is my prayer for the day:

God, help me to remember that You are a real Person, not a distant set of rules or an impersonal Judge.

The Soundtrack of Fall

Here's the finalized fall mix; better known as Fall is Here, Have a Sweater

Death Cab for Cutie - "Someday You Will Be Loved"
Feist - "Brandy Alexander"
Nickel Creek - "Reasons Why"
Ingrid Michaelson - "Breakable"
Sara Gazarek - "I've Got A Great Idea"
Ryan Adams - "La Cienega Just Smiled"
Snow Patrol - "How To Be Dead"
Jon Foreman - "Lord, Save Me From Myself"
Amos Lee - "Arms Of A Woman"
David Crowder Band - "Surely We Can Change"
Coldplay - "Til Kingdom Come"
Regina Spektor - "Samson"

Just about the coolest kid in the world...

Here's my nephew...Isaiah John Toney.

Fall is Here, Have a Sweater

Fall is here officially, not that that means much here in San Diego, CA. Though the days usually start off with a thick, foggy haze that is reluctant to burn up, most days you can usually get a pretty good sunburn. And since I do so hate sunscreen, I have already managed to get my fall sunburn!! But beyond the apparent lack of change in the seasons here in SoCal, fall has brought with it some rather exciting events. For one, the Fall Party hosted by the Toneys (toneyfam.blogspot.com) at their Escondido apartment this past Sunday was more than fun. There was fall-themed decorating, including custom leaf cut-outs and autumn-appropriate candy by Mrs. Courtney Toney. There was a highly enjoyable fall playlist to set the ambience, and two delicious variations on risotto all prepared by Mr. David Toney. As a party favor, David sent everyone home with a ten-track fall CD mix, which has inspired me to compose my own fall mix. The official track list will be published here a few days hence, when it is finished.

Another thing that excites me about fall is the return to the Kit Carson Memorial frisbee golf course. The white-blossoming trees should be back in season and adorning our homemade course. You can take a look here: www.updga.com.

Lest we forget, there is always the ever important matter of my nephew's birthday: Isaiah John Toney, born October 18, 2007, will be celebrating his first birthday. Should be a great party. And then, of course, my birthday November 23 will following shortly thereafter, followed by my brother's birthday two weeks later December 6. And that's not to mention all of the festive holidays that come in fall: Halloween, Thanksgiving. All at the same time, we get to enjoy the buildup to Christmas, which is great.

I'm excited to look forward to the new James Bond movie coming out: Quantum of Solace on November 14: www.007.com. What's not to get excited about with the new James Bond movie? Pretty nice birthday present.

There's hot tea, sweaters, rainy days, cool nights. All good things. So, be excited for fall. It's a good season. Look for the soon-to-come fall playlist!

The Vessel of Change

I have long selfishly entertained the notion that I am the true vessel of change in my life. If you were to ask me point blank how a person's character could be truly changed, I would no doubt tell you something that I heard in a sermon once, talking about the blood of Jesus, the grace of God, along with some quotes about faith and trust. But were you to spend time with me, observing my life, listening to my thoughts, you would soon find that I did not actually think that as expressed by how I live. I want to try and "perfect" myself through my own sense of discipline and self-imposed rules. And I don't think I am alone in this pursuit. How popular it is to better onself. How popular, and how futile. We really do want to believe that there is a way to become better than we are without the help of God. This desire teaches us some important truths about ourselves. We know that there is something wrong with us, something that we want to have fixed. We have the idea, or at least the dream that things could be better than they are, that we could be better than we are. But how we go about seeing that happen is one thing we have definitely missed (myself included, obviously). I will be the first to admit that it is hard to trust in God, when I like to think that I have tried to allow Him to bring about change in my life. But I don't think that I have actually truly trusted God for the change that I want to see in my life and that I think God wants, too. One question that I have yet to have answered for myself is this: if I have tried so hard to change myself, only to be frustrated by my lack of results, why am I so quick to blame God? And why am I still so reluctant to trust God for change in my life?

The Hardest Step

I have begun to notice (more than usual) that there are a lot of things in my life that I should do, but am so reluctant to do. The list is long and varied: clean my room, clean my car, call people I need to call, e-mail who I need to e-mail, read what I need to read, pray for what I need to pray for, work out. And the list goes on. It is hard to find a connection between them all, since they often concern different, seemingly unconnected areas of my life. The only unifying theme between all of these different activities is what I have un-creatively termed the hardest step. The hardest step is always the first step. The worst part, the most difficult moment to overcome is the very first moment. Just making myself sit down (or get up), and do what I need to do is the highest hurdle I jump over. The most frustrating part about this particular step for me is that I haven't found some clever formula or trick to overcome this step; (I don't think everything in life has a quick formulaic answer, or needs one; but I would like there to be one.) I do think that unfortunately, the only thing to do when faced with that first, hardest step is to just make yourself take it. But I could be wrong...

Dallas Willard and The Golden Compass

I have begun to wonder, after only beginning to read The Divine Conspiracy by Dallas Willard about what sort of Christianity we have been taught to believe in the 21st century United States. In chapter two of his excellently written book, he poses a scenario to the reader. Rather, he tries to paint a picture of modern-day Christianity as he sees it. What he writes in his book is that there are two kinds of Christianity at work today: right-wing and left-wing Christianity (his language, not mine). Right-wing Christianity is that which teaches that no matter what we do, no matter how we live, if we accept Jesus as the payer of our sin-guilt bill, then we will be assured entrance into heaven when we die. Left-wing Christianity teaches that what Jesus was most concerned with was the destitute, discarded, and overlooked peoples in society, so we need to do all we can to include as many as we can. Right-wing Christianity ends up focusing so much on the payment of our debt incurred through sin that it inadvertently de-emphasizes the day-to-day walk and transformation that is meant to take place in the life of a follower of Christ. That doesn't mean that there aren't those who truly are transformed by Christ on a day-to-day level, but that is more the exception than the general rule. Left-wing Christianity ends up becoming this "love-conquers-all" sort of fluffy, feel good religion with the name of Jesus attached to it. Both brands of Christianity end up ignoring the current, life-changing power of a daily relationship with Christ, and you have a large population of people who call themselves Christians because they either intellectually accept the payment of their own bill or they try and be nice to other people, and then go on living their lives as they did before they were "Christians". And the primary source of this, the primary cause of this break is faulty preaching that is too blindly accepted as truth. Needless to say, this sort of writing has challenged me to think about what I've learned in my few short years of calling myself a Christian. It has caused me to re-think what my daily actions and what my life actually reflect as far as transformation is concerned. What sort of Christianity do I really believe in (as reflected by my day-to-day actions)?

Juxtaposed against my reading of The Divine Conspiracy is also my reading of the series by Philip Pullman His Dark Materials (The Golden Compass, The Subtle Knife, The Amber Spyglass). Philip Pullman is well-known as an atheist. Even if I hadn't already known such a fact, it would not be hard to see through his writing in these three books and the sort of picture he paints of the Church and God in these books. The two together, in this series are tyrranical, blind in their faith, uncompromising, and downright evil. This is the picture Philip Pullman paints of the Church and God. In the end of the series, God is killed. And because of that fact, many Christians flocked together in protest when the movie The Golden Compass was released in theaters. But when I look at the sort of God and Church that Philip Pullman depicts, I don't know if I would want to defend them. I wouldn't be opposed to the killing of that God and that Church. I honestly think that Christians too quickly flock to those key words of "God" and "church", without asking what they are really standing for. And ironically enough, Dallas Willard says the exact same thing. (I may or may not have picked up the idea from his book). What exactly do we embrace when we fight for the survival of the "God" that Philip Pullman depicts. Now, I should say that Philip Pullman has a very skewed vision of what God and the Church really are, or what they were meant to be, and that is a sad thing. But, unfortunately, the only people we have to blame for that view he holds is Christians themselves. We have committed such crimes in our religion due to the fact that we have believed the wrong "gospel" that now Philip Pullman, and others besides him, have a skewed view of God and the Church.

So, instead of pointing fingers at other people and attacking them, why don't we instead challenge the doctrine we have so blindly swallowed for so long and instead embrace the true God of the Bible, the true redemptive power of Jesus's sacrifice on the Cross, and allow God's truth to actually transform our lives into what they were meant to be.

"And this is eternal life, that they may know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent." John 17:3

"So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed in him, 'If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.'" John 8:31-32

The Tattoo, Part 2

I had a chance to really share about my tattoo in depth with my friend David (pronounced "Daveed") yesterday, and I would like to share more with all the imaginary readers I have.

As mentioned, the Chinese symbols on my back mean "living sacrifice." That is a phrase taken out of the Bible in Romans 12. As I told David, I think that Romans 12 gives one of the best snapshot views in the Bible of how Christians are meant to live now that they have eternal life and a relationship with God. Within that chapter, I think that the phrase "living sacrifice" is the best single descriptor of what a Christian is not meant to be in practice.

So, why did I get this tattoo? It was certainly not to just be trendy and edgy as a Christian. I got it really as a commitment, a challenge, and a reminder. I got this tattoo as a commitment to God and to myself to diligently do what I can to be a living sacrifice: to lay down my will for the sake of God's will, even when I don't understand; to lay down my will for the will of others when it benefits them and can reveal God to them. I did this as a challenge to myself: to push the limits of how I am now being a living sacrifice, and how I might sacrifice more for the sake of God and others. And every time someone asks about it, I am reminded of these things. That's why I got this tattoo.

The Support Battle Begins

I can now say that I have officially begun the "support raising battle." I do have to raise a substantial amount of money to work full time with Student Venture, but that is not so bad as I would have thought. It is, in fact, or it can be, a great process to go through. I don't know if I've bought into that yet, but that's just because it's hard for me to believe. I'm thinking, "This looks so un-fun to me, how could it possibly be enjoyable for anyone else?" But that's just me assuming that the world revolves around me and how I feel...ah, humanity.

The surprising thing is, as I have begun the support raising process, I've found nothing but encouragement along the way. I've been invited to have dinner cooked for me (who doesn't love that?), as well as had friends tell me they really want to hear about the ministry and what I'm going to be doing. I am really excited about what I'm going to be doing, and the work I'm going to do with high school students, but it's easy to forget that. When I get to tell someone about it, I'm reminded of how good it will be and how much I'm looking forward to it. So, maybe this support process isn't so torturous as I first made it out to be...

A New Start

I don't blog much, but I want to. So, now with a new job starting up for me, I am going to attempt to post more often. So, here it is! My first true attempt at blogging.

I just got hired on with Student Venture, which is exciting and scary. I am going to be working to raise support for probably the next few months. I once loathed the idea so much that I didn't want to join staff with Campus Crusade for Christ or any other non-profit organization. Gradually, I started to think that maybe it might not be so bad. But now, as I am working through some support-raising materials (mostly training messages), I am beginning to see how good a process it can be. I don't necessarily think it will be more fun, but I am gaining slowly more and more Biblical perspective on what support really is, and how long that sort of thing has really been going on. So, hopefully, I will keep focused on what is true as I go out to raise support for this job.

I also got a new tattoo (my first). And that is exciting. I have been thinking about it for quite some time now and finally just decided to go out and do it. I knew exactly what I wanted to get and where it was going to go. The only pitfall is, once you get one, you want a second...and so on. I'm already thinking about what to get next, but I am going to let this tattoo marinate/percolate first. But keep your eyes peeled for the next installment, so to speak. I will post pictures of the tattoo ASAP.